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Autumnal InsomniaIt's an Autumn night. The cold comes cutting
Across the seas and the Isle is in winter's for-pang.
I am still at my desk in sweats and fevers, pacing
Over long due essays and the morning's march.
The space on the wall is screaming at me
From where the picture hanged upon the arch
Above the study door. My phone has not rang
In days. In no way could you call me free.
Is it late or early or both? I cannot see
Past the window's blank abyss and I delve
Into another long since read book and look to find
The clock is already far past twelve.
The creaking grows with roaring zephyrs
Of night-breath, the gate creaks in torment
And the dark and twisted line of the tree
Seems horrifying to me.
I close the curtain and shut the door
And pick my book up from off of the floor.
I look and see the clock is now past three
And it matter not in the least to me
And I pray to the Man of Galilee.
Lead-lined eyes and a slurring soul
And the hours awake take their toll
And I fall asleep.
Time Slurs ByYou don't remember.
When we were young and full of dreams
We used to stand by swings
And laugh and watch the birds and their wings
In waves through the crisp spring air.
You wanted to be a dentist, I a teacher.
We grew up, in shaking, unsteady years
And in time's ponderous march, grew apart.
You grew up and out and many found you
And I none. I grew short and bent underneath
The glare of bullies and awful fears.
I took solace in books and a kindly preacher
But not in you. Others held your sweet heart.
I became a shadow, another walking face.
I often wondered wheather those years were true
Or a dream I had, something never had, not lost.
I saw someone else, a poet soul
One who loved my bent form and the parting in my hair
And her hair as dark as coal made a mirror of your heart.
We wed and kept our vows but I remembered you still.
I never mentioned you, even when I heard your shrill
Aging voice in the college one day.
No surgery could hide your wasted face
Or sagging ski
The Mouth Harp ManIt was early morning.
The streets were smokey blue-grey
And it had not yet dawned. The day
Was young still.
I heard a whining, loud and shrill.
I swept the window open to look
And saw a battered old man with a crook
And mouth harp. It cringed. Squawking.
It sang out and roused the dust
And the window latches bound in rust.
The misanthrope cared not.
He played amid the spreading sky and rot
Stained timber frames of houses
As the city stretches, shakes and rouses.
He cared not for glares, just the holes in his shoes.
Not for thieves, he has nothing much to lose
Except a tin can and a cardboard box.
He has nothing to hide behind some locks.
I stop and turn, unplug my Ipod
For this lonely man bears the sweet song of God.
The Porcelain GirlThe dust rises in smoky spirals from the ancient shelf
And ten thousand books lie unused, shrouded in stealth
And the girl is sitting by herself.
She has no time for the novels or history books
Her phone is her paramour and she gives no looks
To those who gawk at her.
Heaven help me, she sits like porcelain, about to break
In the black of her hair and clothing, she pools lake-
Tranquil in the seat, absorbed in her own reflection.
The distant roar of the winding road
And the sad fly-whining of the violin player on the corner
Break the sultry silence of the library and goad
The happy man to be a mourner.
Aye. I've seen her before
In Maude Gonne, too distant to be a friend
And too pretty to be a whore.
So I swallow my pride and pass her by
And she does likewise the same to me.
The No Touch TangoYou know I love you baby
But there's one thing you gotta know
There's a reason that I've never touched you
I've got a love I cannot show.
Y'see dolly baby I got a little hitch.
You never knew it but I'm saying it now.
It may seem like nothing but it sure is a bitch.
I can't touch you girl and I'll tell you how!
When people touch me my skin crawls,
Be it in a boardroom or the dancing halls
I hate the touch of men and for women it's worse!
For me the sight of makeup is a cruel cruel curse.
Y'see I don't know why but since I was a child
The sight of nail polish has me reviled.
Oh Lord I hate cosmetics and those shorts skirts
And the fact that you love them baby, really hurts.
Now I can't touch you darling, I'm sorry though
I made up my mind many years ago.
There will be no bedroom antics, no time in bed
Not until you clean up and we both are wed.
GenesisI awaken. I am one and WE are three
And I have seen the unspeakable nothing
Before WE founded the firmament.
I have always been established and I shall ever be.
Let US sail among the silent stars
And see the free hanging, free falling stars
And churn the celestial sea.
Let US for our long born purpose
Establish a light among the dust
To be our eye and rule for US
The day as the planets swirl and rust
Red clouds clutter up their skies
And the new world settles as Adam opens up his eyes.
And thus was the earth formed from the burning
Roilling gases and fragments of two dead worlds
And curls of poison burned the skies for time
That burns the mind at the contemplation
And the skies cleared and WE cleared away the grime
Of time spent burning.
The Land WE built first.
WE dredged the lifeless land from the mother sea
And set the beasts to land and set from the water free.
Free breathing yet return to slake their thirst
And the beasts shall spread as a spreading pool
Of chaos and re
The ReflectionCome here and see
Two lakes, still and silent.
Dark blue with black sand beaches.
The skin is alabaster and
Blotch-red, unmarked by vanity.
Two little mirrors
Over the lakes that
Many say would be better gone.
A cell opening
A wound in the symmetry
Crooked off white bars within.
A jaw like cut glass
With a dent in the middle
Squared off and prominent.
Straight hair, riot red
And like fresh cut copper.
Worn. Old before it's time.
Little Bitter BoyHow many mornings, cobweb white
Have been spent on thoughts of you?
How many nights, coal dust dark
Have I cursed and cried o'er your name?
Words fail me, a fallow mind
Now foul and horse-heavy and dull.
No reason gave you, no trial, no jury
Only judge and scales and sword
You and I blind! That sword
Has hacked and doused dreams, hanged hopes
And put paid with pity all joy I held.
Not held! Borrowed from you! And dragged
Like a weed root, up and away and burned
Black with cruel hands!.
Those dull spheres swivel
Like worn marbles.
Their eyes take all
Give nothing back.
They hold hands and rut
And make more dull people.
They never read what they don't
Have to. Crass colours and games
Fill their hours, their crooked faces
Sneer back at me. Tiresome talking
Drowns me out; drives me mad.
All those false tanned women.
False hair, skin, mind, heart.
Nothing is real
Nothing has substance.
They are walking grease.
Sin made manifest.
I will not touch them.
They repulse me.
Bad teeth and worse skin
And a stooped, bent back.
What a waste you are!
Who made you God?
A puritan's sneer
And a rich boy's haircut
Are all you have.
BattlefieldOn the field of tarnished brown,
He spent the golden years of his youth in a storm of mud
and gunpowder and the disillusionment
that war was not the glorious thing he believed.
On the field where dreams were only evanescent
as crimson screams bled into smoky skies,
none of the soldiers remained exactly pure,
None of them untainted.
On the field with gunshots on replay,
He almost grew numb to it all,
to all the blood and chaos and fear and despair
as friends, enemies, cities turned to ashes,
And so did he.
On the field that was once an innocent green,
What was left of him was lowered into the ground
With shell fragments still inside so that war will never leave him,
Not even in the eternal peace of death.
DyingLove slowly kills you
yeah, but at least you're dying together.
I'm still dying
and you're watching in ignorance.
Memory's PainCut my chest open,
let me bleed.
Find my soul
and set it free.
Tears of red,
Leave me be,
life's a blur.
Alone she treads
mist in moonlight,
a mirror broken.
Find withered dreams
in torn up pages,
for death is gained
in memory's pain.
My lifeTo change myself i'd rather die,
You would bleed me out with all your lies.
Splatter my life apon the grass,
Loose myself based on the passed.
Try to change me,
But you won't beat me.
My will is stronger,
I will see you no longer.
Say goodbye to your lover,
Say goodbye to your pushover.
This life is mine.
Why I Love Rain
Water all around
Yet I am not wet
Yet I do not drown
I am flying
I could sink
Let it all surround me
Swallow me whole
Release it all
Let it sink
While I rise
RememberedEach act immortalizes us,
like starburst lightning,
like dandelion seeds
in the w
BurialThe mud caked my fingernails.
My hair slipped from inside my hood,
blowing across my face.
The wind shifted the leaves on the ground
a collage of yellow, red, and brown
and the earth crawled around me.
The rain fell hard
and the wet grass grabbed at my ankles.
The hole I dug with my own two hands
was between two trees where you and I
used to sit and talk about superheroes,
videogames and high school bullies.
I thought the location fit.
I pulled from my coat pocket
the heart necklace you gave me
the year before you said goodbye
and drove off, leaving skid marks
on the vacant street.
I dropped my heart into the hole
and buried it.
As I walked away,
the rain still pouring,
I picked the mud from inside my fingernails.
Dreaming OfDreaming of
The moon lit night
Stars dancing in time
To Earth's heartbeat
Your hand in mine
As we watch this show
In the dark of twilight
A scene so beautiful
With snow white roses
Twirling in the sky
We join in
To this enchanting ball
It never ending
Still we must wake
And go on with our lives
But inside we're asleep
Our moon lit night
Dancing under the stars
The ObsessiveI'm sitting with friends
And a girl brushes my arm.
I spend five minutes washing my arm.
I see a dirty sock in a friend's house
I hoover the carpet
And tidy everything up.
I get hugged by someone
And I feel unclean all over.
They don't understand.
I see a distant couple kiss.
I walk in circles outside
Repeating the same sentence.
I see a woman barely
I turn away and click and tic.
I was five years old
Apologizing to someone
For wiping dirt off their face.
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